Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Back from the mountains

The family went to Leavenworth this weekend for a short vacation stint. We stayed at a friends cabin that is perched on a cliff right above the river, which was very nice. Well, the cabin itself smelled like mildew/stale dust and made me sneeze but after we opened all the windows and doors it was much nicer. I loved the sound of the river. Not quite as nice as camping because tents smell nicer than musty cabins, but then having indoor plumbing and a kitchen is a plus.

As always happens when we got back to the city Sunday afternoon it all looked so ugly. I try to adjust my attitude and my thinking when coming back from being out in the country, but I always feel a drop in my energy and I try to see beauty in the city but really all I see is far too much pavement, a lot of ugly buildings and not enough natural beauty. I don't know why I am different from all my friends here - even my husband. I don't feel "at home" when we are in the city. I don't see the beauty even though I try really hard too. I feel an internal desperation to get OUT of the city again as soon as I can. I've been trying to tell myself all the good things about being in the city to change how I actually feel about it, but honestly, I am happier and have much more energy out in the woods. Plain and simple. Someday we will find a way to live out there. I wish it wasn't so difficult to come up with a way to make a living out in the country.

But the reality is we just need to think differently - obviously my husband is not going to find a software company to work for in a rural area, and there won't be a ton of small businesses clamoring to hire me to do their finances. But there are ways to make a living. I'm still brainstorming.

Actually, we were at a tourist-farm in Cashmere, WA to see the petting zoo (which Emma June was not so thrilled about because I guess she gets enough chickens and horses at home) and to buy some fresh fruit - and I almost wrangled a new client. They had this thing called the "cow train" that Emma June wanted to ride, so I was talking to the guy who drives it. He said he just does it for fun because his other job is owning a clothing company. I flippantly asked if he needed a bookkeeper and he said he did and asked to get my information. It would be hard having a client on the other side of the mountains 2 hours from Seattle, but it just goes to show there could potentially be clients even in small towns.

Speaking of the cow train, I still can not get over the difference between rural and urban when it comes to kids. So, the cow train was a tractor, pulling a bunch of little metal cars that look are painted like little cows and are attached to the tractor. The kids sit in the cows with a little seatbelt and get pulled behind the tractor. We were the only ones on the first run of the morning and we went barrelling through the field weaving around and doing figure 8's that made the back cow cars do a little whip in back and doing donuts. (I'm surprised it didn't make me woozy). Emma June thought it was a ton of fun and couldn't stop talking about at lunch and the rest of the day. I thought it was fun too actually. But what I can't get over is that I can't *imagine* the majority of the moms I know from the neighborhood letting their little kids ride in it. It seemed like a totally normal thing to do based on stuff we did as children in the rural suburb, but I couldn't stop picturing most of the mothers I know saying, "But where are the helmets?" "Isn't that too fast?" "My delicate child can not handle that!" In fact, I heard a couple of those voices in my head that had to be counteracted by remembering how I liked to play when I was 5 years old. I still remember when we would swing on the rope swing in the Haberman's barn when I was little and how the big dare was to jump off the 3rd floor hay loft. And how we had to be careful not to crash into the electrical panel for the electric fence on the other side of the barn.

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