Monday, December 21, 2009

Maybe. But you're still a bozo.

I will explain the subject title later. First I want to say that I had one of my grand ideas and now I feel the need to research the heck out of it. I think I want to be a chicken farmer. Not one of those awful commercial ones but a free range chicken farm. With part of the focus being to educate the public on just how bad mass-produced meat is for us. It brings to mind a couple years ago when I was in the Safeway by my house and asked the guy working in the meat department if the chickens had antibiotics in them. He said, "Of course they do. You don't want to eat a sick chicken, do you?" To which I could only stare at him in amazement then turn and walk away muttering, "Damn!"

I want to have an actual free range farm and people can come to farm tours and actually see where the meat and eggs come from and the conditions the animals live in. There would also be a chicken cam (yes - the chicken cam!) for people out of town to see where their meat comes from. I started thinking about this over a year or so ago when I got a Draper Valley Farms Ranger free-range chicken (which was quite expensive) and the poor thing was all scrawny and had very little muscle and lots of adipose tissue (fat) where it was not natural for a chicken. Which by the way you won't see unless you buy whole chickens. My dad told me that all you need to say that something is "free range" is an opening where the chicken can go to from their cage, even if that opening is just a tiny concrete patch. Further research has shown that to be true. Apparently, these chickens have the option of being free range and would rather lie on the couch, eat junk food and play video games.

So, now I want to go visit the farms where the chickens are raised for Draper Valley Farms. I found their processing plant in Mt Vernon totally by accident while going out to Guemes Island last summer. Now I just need to find their farms and see what "free range" means to them. I'm sure it varies depending on whose farm it is that the chicken came from.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking chicken farm. It actually relaxes me to go out and take care of our three chickens - even manual tasks like cleaning the coop is relaxing. And they are funny little buggers. This afternoon when the sun went down, the wind had blown the door shut to do their coop so they all fell asleep at the top of the ramp next to the door. I was trying to get Alina to wake up and move so I could open the door for them, but she wouldn't wake up. Finally I just shoved her off the ramp and that pissed her, but I was able to get their coop door open for them. I poured their food into their bowl and Alina flew into the coop, quickly followed by Woodia (the cross-beak runt) who landed on Alina's back. Alina tried to shake her off and for a minute Woodia was surfing on Alina's back while Alina squawked and tried to shake her off. Alina finally managed to throw her off and Woodia landed in their food bowl, where with her wings still splayed she proceeded to start gobbling down food.

Entertaining as I find them, I still enjoy eating chicken. Therefor I would make a very good chicken farmer.

So, the subject title is from a website that a friend sent me a link to. It's a comparison of the ideas of people who believe that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 thus signifying the end of the world and those who have scientific data to show that prediction is a bunch of hooey. I liked these two statements: "But Daniel Pinchbeck is the reincarnation of the Mayan god Quetzalcoatl!" "Maybe. But Quetzalcoatl is Mexican Atztec, not pre-Columbian Mayan". How that sounded in my head was "Maybe. But you're still a bozo." Here is the link to decide for yourself.

Speaking of the Mayan Calendar and the world ending, my lovely husband finally conceded and said he'd move to a farm with me in 2012 and people kept asking, "Why do you have to wait so long?" and I finally realized it is because that is when the world is going to end and he was hoping to get out of it by the world ended! He has since come down a year and the projected date is 2011. He's starting to show signs that he might actually enjoy living on a farm too. As long as their is high-speed internet and a few weirdos like us. I really want to go up outside of Monroe, WA because I already have a few weird friends like us who live out there. We'll see. Chicken farm.

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