Sunday, February 7, 2010

one of those "my worst fear" moments

Ok, it's not even remotely up there with my worst fear, but it's not something I ever wanted to happen. I hadn't been to church for a couple weeks and had no idea what was going on today. I walked in and one of my friends asked if I could last minute help with Sunday school and I said sure. Then at "children's time" nobody went up to tell the children's story. That is the time at beginning of church when all the kids go sit on the front steps by the altar and whatever adult is assigned that week, tells them a quick story - usually something spiritual or educational (although occasionally the adult will bomb and it will be a weird couple minutes of random babbling). Anyway, everybody is looking around muttering, "Who's doing children's time?" and the pastor says, "Julia - it's you!"

Luckily, it turns out I did not actually say "SHIT!" out loud like I later wondered if I did. I just thought it loudly. And I looked at the pastor trying to psychically convey, "What the fuck?! Help!!!" then went up there to totally wing it. Apparently, I pulled it off because my friend Chris said that was amazing that I was able to pull something out of my ass like that to talk about at the spur of the moment.

Earlier this morning I had read a quote by Flannery O'Connor which was "You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you ... odd." So, I said I'd liked that quote and that sometimes that is true when you're a kid and there is peer pressure to do stuff that you know in your heart is not right. Like if other kids are making fun of someone and you know in your heart it is not the kind, right thing to do, it may make you unpopular for a little while, but it is better to follow what you know in your heart is right, then to follow the crowd if they're doing something cruel. Then I asked the kids (who were from 2 to 7 years old) if they could think of anything that had happened to them or they'd seen on tv or read in a book that was like that. They all shook their heads and I said, "Yeah well, that's fine. I totally know what it's like to suddenly be up in front of people and have nothing to say and be on the spot."

Meanwhile, I continue to obsess on how I can find a way to make a living out in the country so we can move out of the city. Still haven't found the answer. I've been perusing some online ads for ranch work but not finding much that I am qualified for. And that brings up the problem of if I'm supporting the family doing ranch work so we can live in the country, how will we afford health insurance?

Yesterday was sunny and freakishly warm for February in Seattle, so we let the chickens free range in the backyard all day, which they loved. Woodia kept running under my feet and pecking at my boots and trying to follow me into the house. She is one food-crazed little chicken. I'm never sure if she's able to scoop up enough mash with her cross-beak but she has grown quite a bit since we got her and other than being constantly hungry and food obsessed she is doing well. I may need to research better ways to make sure she eats enough to get full. It wouldn't be any fun to be hungry all the time like that - at least it wasn't for me when I was anorexic. And it's probably still not any fun even if you're a very dumb bird.

I haven't had time to go out and see Girlfriend this weekend. I had a lesson with her Friday morning which actually went really well, but I'm still kind of going through horse withdrawal today. And I am still looking for a good wireless webcam for my chicken cam. My husband has made some suggestions of cheap ones I can look into. Some people think it's a great idea and some people think I'm a freak. Thus is the story of my life.

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