Saturday, July 3, 2010

breakin the law breakin the law

I'm not a big fan of fire crackers because I've seen too many bozos with them get too close to hurting me with them. But I do like sparklers. And they are illegal in Seattle. So, today while driving up to the stable with my friend, Megan we passed a fireworks stand in unincorporated Snohomish County and I regressed a little into "please please please can we stop so I can get some contraband sparklers!" Now we have a lot of sparklers. And I just took my daughter outside to light one and she too thought it was the coolest thing. "Like a real magic wand!"

I finally gave in and started taking antibiotics for my sinuses. Two weeks ago the doctor said to take them if my sinus infection didn't go away and it did get a little better except that the perpetual sinus headache never went away and my jaws were starting to ache quite badly. I really don't like having to take antibiotics though so I put it off until a couple days ago. Now I'm reveling in the fact that my sinus headache is finally starting to go away. Even though my stomach is kind of messed up now. Blah. I'm trying to keep a good attitude despite the whole chronic illness thing. There has to be a balance between complete denial and trying to power through like everything is normal and just getting depressed and giving up.

Speaking of happy things that keep me going, I had a very good ride with my horse today. Megan had a lesson with her horse - the one who nine months ago was a wild mustang on the BLM lands - so I was trying to just practice off in my own corner and not get in her way. But a couple times my instructor yelled across the arena, "She's looking really good there! You're doing something right!" After Megan's lesson was over I said I thought it had helped my confidence to take lessons on her horses recently because they are trained dressage horses and much easier to ride dressage than my gaming horse. And my instructor said, "Well it's something. Maybe you're riding longer. But something has really changed and you're doing much better." That felt really good to hear! I think maybe riding her horses helped me to remember some of the stuff I learned back when I was a teenager. My mind does not remember any of it but apparently my body does.

I really don't remember much consciously about riding as a teenager except that I did. I remember what the stable looked like - Evergreen Equestrian Stable in Bridle Trails (which has since closed down). I remember a couple of the horses and their names and I remember things like how it felt to go over jumps, or when Jasper spooked while cantering at one of the corners and threw me into the arena wall, or falling off Dershinka right into the poles of the jump, or riding in a show (I don't remember who I was riding) and the horse shied from the jump right before we went over and I circled and went back over it, but I remember being devastated because it cost me a ribbon and I wanted to be perfect in everything back then. I remember looking at the clipboard on the wall right when I got to the barn to see who I was signed up to ride and the excitement of just getting to the barn and knowing I'd get to spend the afternoon with horses. I remember the feeling of breathlessness when the horse would 'run away at a trot' and not canter, and then the relief as soon as the horse finally broke into a smooth canter. But I don't consciously remember any instruction except "keep your heels down". But when I do start riding well I can feel it which is interesting. I don't know why I can't remember the specifics better about something I loved so much.

Still don't know if we got the Woodinville house. As far as I know the bank just got the offer package yesterday. So, who knows. I've got the whole chicken coop/run thing worked out in my head and where we'll put raised bed gardens and where we'll put a little greenhouse and a treehouse for the girl. There was also talk about the possibility of bunnies in a hutch sharing a run with the chickens. But they'd have to be angora bunnies that I could groom for fur to spin into yarn. Of course, I'd have to tackle spinning. I've tried a couple times and it is an awful lot harder than it looks. I suppose I should just stop daydreaming about it because we still have no idea if we're going to get the house or not and we may have months ahead of us before we'll know.

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