Sunday, August 8, 2010

cowgirl goes to a wedding

Our daughter was gone all weekend at our church retreat and I have been both amazed at my maternal instinct and impressed that I have not acted on it. I've wanted to call someone's cell phone and ask them how she's doing but reason has won out that if she needs anything someone will call us, otherwise I should just let her do her thing. I'm amazed at how much of a void I feel though when she is gone for a couple days.

Maybe because of that I had a dream last night that I died and when I saw (from my ghost form) how devastated my family was - especially my daughter - I made it my mission (as a ghost) to find a way to turn back time and come back to life. It turned out that I could do that if I put on the record (as in an actual vinyl record) of Still They Ride by Journey and wished really hard while it was playing. Only I couldn't find the single in all the old records I had, even though I knew at one point I'd had it.

Last night we went to the wedding of a couple of good friends or ours. They are in their 20's so the wedding had some very different elements about it, but it was still lovely. They are one of my favorite couples because they are so young, but they are both so grounded and focused and obviously such a great match for each other (as shown by this video). But what amused me were things like the live video feed of the wedding and the blow by blow Twitter-feed of the wedding. Especially because I - as I explained it numerous times at the reception - am boycotting Twitter because I have to be against something it might as well be Twitter.

Seriously, I am not interested in Twitter because it seems very superfluous to real life. I like Facebook because I can post pictures that my family all over the world can see and I can keep in touch like that, but Twitter seems useless to me. You can only post tiny pockets of information and it embodies to me a shallowness of our society. Someone recently called me a Luddite but I think I'm not quite that bad. I'm more like an Amish. I embrace some technology but for example we also don't have a wii. Because you can actually do aerobics, skiing, play musical instruments and all that in real life. Why do you need to do it on a video game?

Still, the wedding was beautiful and although it was in a park and it poured down rain the whole time and all I could see from my seat was a sea of umbrellas, it was still very nice and I was impressed with what a great attitude everyone had despite the rain.

The other thing I had been nervous about was that I wasn't going to known anyone except the bride and groom and one of the bride's friends, Sarah, who I had met all of twice. And the wedding and reception were in the wealthiest neighborhood in the greater Seattle area. I was talking to my mom on the phone beforehand and said I had just noticed I had cat fur all over my black coat and do you think anyone in said wealthy neighborhood would have cat fur on their clothes or would I really stand out - and she said, "Oh, you will definitely stand out! You need to figure out a way to get that off before you get there!" Grumble. Time to whip out the comment, "That was not very supportive, Mom."

As it was, the cat fur was the only way I could tell my long black coat from everyone else's long black coat in the coat room. The only other catastrophe-in-my-head was when we got there, I was wearing a pale cream/flowered dress with a 1920's cut that came down to my shins and a pale green crocheted sweater. Literally all the other women (girls?) were wearing black or red mini-dresses and spiked heels. Except the mothers of the bride and groom. Thankfully, Sarah arrived wearing a white silk shin-length dress with bright flowers so I didn't feel like I stood out from the majority of the female guests. I had to take a deep breath when we walked into the park and say to myself "I'm dressed like me and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with dressing like me and not like everyone else!" The irony is, I used to wear only black with maybe a hint of dark Earth tones mixed in. But I thought for a summer wedding it would be more festive to wear something light and bright. Yet another reminder not to take the same mindset as my mom and to just be myself.

The reception turned out to be fun. There was only one woman there who I was acquainted with from the past who was very snotty back then and still seemed very snotty and it was odd to me that the bride - who is so warm and open and sweet - was interested in being close enough friends with her to invite her to her wedding. But everyone else was goofy and friendly and we talked to all sorts of interesting people who do lots of things in the tech. world that I don't understand. There were two high points in my evening, one was in the buffet line when I was telling a friend of the groom's family about Ignite and the man next to me said, "Hey! I run Ignite!" and was as friendly and talkative to me (a total stranger) as I am to total strangers. We had dinner with him and his wife and I was thrilled to meet people as friendly as me. It can be rare in our city to not have people recoil from friendliness or at least try to keep you at arm's length.

The other high point was when I went up to a friend of the groom's parents to compliment her dress (she was wearing a bright green sundress and a vibrant yellow shawl and stood out in a beautiful way amongst all the black clothes) and we started talking about non-profits and she introduces me to her friend who started an international non-profit helping women in third world countries and we had a great time talking together. She has been doing this for ten years and had all sorts of great ideas and insights that only come from experience, in contrast to my only having one year of experience with the non-profit I started. In the end I felt the most comfortable with the groom's parent's friends and found myself wishing that when we move out of the city we could move to that neighborhood so we could be neighbors with all of them. But of course when I looked at the prices of the houses for sale in that neighborhood I was reminded why we are not moving to the wealthiest neighborhood in the Greater Seattle area. Oh well. I did warn my husband if we have a windfall of millions of dollars any time soon that is where we're moving instead of Woodinville.

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