Monday, August 2, 2010


I went to work this morning and had trouble getting the door open because the door jam was mangled at the top and it appeared to me the way the paint started to peel when I forced the door open that the door had been painted shut (assuming they'd painted the hallway in my office building). The top latch of the door that never opens in the double door set was sitting on the shelf next to the door like someone who was working on it just hadn't though to put it back up. I momentarily thought someone might have broken in, but it looked like nothing was missing - all the computers were there and nothing looked like it had been touched. It wasn't until I talked to my co-worker that it turned out there had been a laptop left at the office that was no longer there, and the burglars had also broken into the homeless advocacy group in the office next door and after destroying their cash register stole the $9 that was in it. Geez.

I got home around noon to be told that while I was at work, our neighbor's just five doors down had had an attempted break-in. The mom and baby had been in the basement when they heard a knock at their front door. She ignored it since she wasn't expecting anyone (and this time of year our neighborhood gets a lot of solicitors). A few minutes later she heard someone trying to kick in the basement door. Apparently, she started screaming and they ran away. Now I feel bad for taking the pitbull to work and not leaving her at home to protect my mom and my daughter! I'm glad they didn't come and try our house next!

This time last year the crime du jour was a group of guys going around kicking in doors, pistol whipping the residents if they were home and stealing whatever they could. We ramped up our home security after that at night. At least these guys ran away when the woman screamed but they did try to kick in her door at 11am in a very well populated neighborhood. It makes me very sad. And it validates that I don't want to continue living here for the rest of my life. Although, honestly, I don't think Woodinville is always going to have that much less crime. It has less right now, but who knows if that will stay the way it is.

When I was out walking with my friend, Hannah on her property a couple weeks ago I was asking her friend Nicki about living in Gold Bar. She said it's beautiful and they love being in the country, but they basically gave up the crack dealers and prostitutes by their apartment in Fremont (just off Aurora) for meth houses. I know there are places that don't have this much crime, I just don't know where they are. Unless of course we were to go out as far as Hannah lives, where you have to drive miles off a main road through the woods to get to her house. But then she and her husband have to worry about bears, cougars and bobcats. I'd like to go out this summer with the family and camp out on their property but first I have to figure out how to make sure we're safe in a tent from bears and cougars.

We heard back from the bank last week with a counter-offer and we sent them back a counter to their counter and now I'm wondering how long it will take them to get back to us. I came straight home from work today and started painting the kitchen. I feel overwhelmed looking at all the painting that needs to be done. And just the cleaning up in general. My mom stayed after babysitting to help me take cupboard doors down and clean them up before painting them. I felt guilty because she is 73 years old and I can't imagine I'll be able to do manual labor by that age, but it also makes me proud to have a mother who is willing to help do that kind of stuff.

My daughter asked me today what I thought it would feel like to live in the new house and I said it might feel a little strange at first but it will probably feel really good too. Then we looked at photos on the seller agent's website and talked about the neighborhood and the park nearby and I showed her the website for the new school. It helps too that there's a girl her age who lives next door and she even has a pet pitbull. I am completely clueless how to help my daughter cope with a big change like moving to a new house in a completely new neighborhood, but I'm trying to go with the idea of how I would want someone to help me cope. We'll talk about it and I'll tell her how I feel and listen to how she feels and as my therapist says "help her hold the big feelings that feel too big for her to hold by herself". That sounds kind of like silly therapy talk when I say it, but the idea really makes sense to me. I remember being little and being so overwhelmed by feelings and feeling all alone in that and like I would drown in the feelings without anyone to help me understand them and be assured they were just feelings and wouldn't destroy me. I'm hoping my daughter won't ever have to feel that way.

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