Wednesday, September 15, 2010

first coffee of the day

I am sick today with what I do not know. Woke up and had vertigo again and almost fainted when I got up to go to the bathroom. I slept most of the morning (after canceling everything for today and tomorrow - which took many phone calls and emails) and then my lovely husband came home early from work to take me to the doctor. This is the second time in three months I've had vertigo and balance problems so I'm getting an MRI on Saturday. That should be interesting. I use the word "interesting" loosely.

After some diazapam for the vertigo and anti-nausea medication I'm feeling better enough to drink a little coffee and sit on the couch which is nice. I had kind of an epiphany this morning while dozing in bed not feeling like doing anything - I am tired. I have too much going on and I'm - if you'll excuse the cliche - burning the candle at both ends. I got an email this morning that one of the board members (of my four whole board members on my non-profit I started last year) is quitting because his life is just too busy. And the other three have been very apologetic that they haven't been able to help at all with our upcoming fundraisers - and I know they really want to they are just very busy too. So, I've been so busy trying to set up these fundraisers I haven't had any energy to work on what I wanted to do to begin with - which is our mission statement and purpose. All my energy with this non-profit goes into trying to keep the business end going and that was not my goal. Add that to being a parent and having a paying job and having health problems.

After a lot of soul-searching (which hopefully wasn't driven by diazepam) I'm going to propose to the board that we disband the non-profit. And I will volunteer for an existing non-profit and I'm going to write a book on the subject. I'm not sure what the board will say - maybe it's not the right thing to do? But it would be nice to get back on track with what I really want to do which is take down the consumerist culture! Bwah ha ha! =ahem=

My six year old is in a gifted-child class at school. The other day they were talking about double helixes and she explained it as "They are your genes, but not the jeans you are wearing. They are what make you who you are and why you have the color hair and eyes you have and if you're tall or short." Now she's talking about Ditto the Pokemon who can "transform herself by rearranging her cells to clone herself to be the same as other Pokemon." She says when she grows up she's going to learn about the genetic structure of a Pokemon so she can create her own. Good lord. I did not talk about this stuff when I was 6 years old. I may be smarter than my parents but I think our daughter is going to transcend us by a few generations.

I was supposed to go out and see my horse tomorrow and I'm not going to be well enough. I miss my horse. I haven't seen her since Saturday and I didn't ride her Saturday because I wanted to take a lesson on one of my instructor's horses. Oh, horse withdrawal.

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