Monday, October 4, 2010

bizarre dreams

I had the strangest dream last night that has been sticking with me all day. It sounds grosser when I say it now then it seemed to me in the dream. It started out that my left eye was bothering me and a bit of puss was coming out of it. I wiped it off and was studying it when suddenly I had microscopic vision and saw little insects inside the puss. Then I pressed on my eye and a whole bunch of it came out, but instead of thinking about why I had insect-laden puss in my eye to begin with, it was just a relief that it was coming out. I have no idea what that meant. Maybe it didn't mean anything and it was just a weird dream.

On Friday I had to get another test done to find out why I haven't been feeling well this summer. This one was a VNG test which turned out to be far more unpleasant than the MRI. I also had a hearing test which was interesting because at one point they put two rods against the side of my head and then I was able to hear noises in my ear. That was actually really cool and it was cooler because I was able to see a diagram of the anatomy of an ear and see how it was working. The worst part of the VNG test was when I had to lie on my back and put on these big goggles that were taking a live video feed of my eye movements. Then the audiologist blew cold air into my ear for one minute. Which doesn't seem like a long time, but it makes the world spin and is extremely uncomfortable and without fail by 50 seconds I would whine, "How much time is left? I can't stand this!" Then I had to keep my eyes wide open until the dizziness passed so that that audiologist could ascertain if my body was reacting normally to dizziness. She had to do that four times. After the first time I thought there was no way I could do it again but I didn't really have a choice. After blowing the air in my ear, to take my mind off how awful I felt the first time she had me go through the alphabet and name off girl's names for each letter. The second time it was boy's names. So, I was able to go into the third time distracted by wondering, "Ok, what am I going to have to name off for every letter of the alphabet now?" The fourth time I ended up saying, "Whatever - I just want to talk about horses," so she let ramble on about horses. I have a picture in my head of a super villian based on the audiologist that I'm hoping my husband will draw.

My mom drove me to the appointment because I didn't know if I'd feel well enough to drive, and afterward we went up to the stable to ride horses. The flies were really bad and even Doc, who is normally so mellow, was kicking and bucking while standing still. I was a little worried about my mom getting on him, but he was ok once he was moving. Girl was the same way and I'm a little surprised that I was actually able to get on her. I have finally given in and am going to buy some fly spray because it felt a little dangerous to be riding her when she was getting so angry over the flies. Sunday we had a similar ride. I am finally getting more comfortable at the canter and Girl is finally starting to calm down and canter.

So, first thing tomorrow morning we're taking Lil Girl in to get her tonsils out. She is completely not afraid and appears to be focusing on how much better it's going to feel to not have tonsils. That's a good thing. We've warned her she will have a sore throat for a few days but hopefully the pain meds will help with that. I'm glad that the message we've given her is this is a good thing that will make her feel better in the long run because she seems actually happy to have it done and has said a few times, "I will feel way better without them." I just need to try and keep myself relaxed despite my mother-angst of not wanting my baby to be hurt in any way.

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