Saturday, November 20, 2010

Cold - both in the world and in my nose

I must add something to the previous post about parenting that I try really hard to do and I think was lacking in a big way from my childhood. I tell my child a lot how strong and brave she naturally is. I have been telling her that since she was born in hopes that she will believe me. Because my experience with courage has been that it is not something that certain people are born with, it is actually a belief in oneself that they are courageous that anyone could have. The message I received all through my childhood was that I was frail and sensitive and scared of everything (or at least should be scared of everything) so when I was an adult I believed that I couldn't handle things that other people could. But over the last few years I've been telling myself over and over again that I am emotionally very strong and that I can handle anything with the endless reserve of courage and strength I have deep within me. Thankfully, my mother has come around and says stuff like that too now which helps. It's never too late to get positive feedback from mom!

Anyway, I realized the other day when I was holding my friend's newborn and he started fussing for her, how much I do that. Without even thinking I started gently bouncing him and saying, "You're ok, you'll be fine. Mom's just got to finish some stuff first before she feeds you but you will be just fine and you can handle it." ("Mom" was attending to her toddler and her two older kids so "Mom" is always busy!)

I just finished listening to The Secret Garden on cd in the car. That was one of my favorite books as a kid and it was very calming and pleasant to listen to it while driving. The author talks a lot about the magic of positive thinking and although stuff that takes it too far like the book The Secret make me want to scream, it is important to remind myself that focusing on the positive leads better places than dwelling on the negative. A lesson I've been working on for years now.

And that is good to remember on days like today when I have a cold. And it is going to be super cold outside. Luckily this cold seems to respond well to lots of cold medicine which is a relief. And I am extremely thankful for my warm house when it's going to get down into the 20's tonight.

Speaking of warm houses, my husband seems to be in love with a house in Woodinville that I also like a lot. It's not my dream farm, but it is an awfully nice house and I know I can be happy there. And I was the one that loves our current house so it would be nice to move somewhere this time that he absolutely loves. And I do really like the area and the woods and salmon-spawning creek behind the house. I think we're going to decide if we're going to make an offer this week. Which means getting back into the process of trying to make our little craftsman look like we have not lived here for the last 10 years.

And one last thing. I took my friend H. out to see my horse the other day and it was really an eye-opening experience for me. She'd never even been around horses so it was all brand new to her. All this stuff I don't even think twice about was completely foreign to her. I also led her around the arena on Girlfriend and it was really neat to see someone think that was so neat the way I do! I said I could teach her how to ride and she honestly looked surprised that she *could* learn how to ride. I know to her it seemed like she was too old after spending the day with me who first got on a horse when I was 3 years old, but to me it was a no-brainer. Of course she could learn to ride. Anyone can learn to ride. And that got me thinking about things that I believe I am too old to start doing or that I'm too 'this or that" to do. Maybe people who can already do those things would look at me the same way and think, "Of course you could do it! Why not? It's only your belief you can't that is keeping you from trying and learning." So, that was a good reminder for me.

2 comments:

  1. Hi! I see you posted at ScienceBasedParenting, and noticed that you live not far from me. I also know someone (a biology prof. at the UW) who has a daughter with a horse in Woodinville, plus the daughter of the architect of our house had one there at least until she graduated from Roosevelt H.S. four years ago.

    I also have an edible garden on a 5000 square foot lot. It mostly consists of fruit trees, with some occasional veggies (the trees seem to create too much shade!). Please check out the Seattle Tree Fruit Society. If you went to the our Fall Fruit Show on Oct. 31st, I was the one serving tastes of pears and medlars in the afternoon. We are an interesting bunch, plus the meetings will be moved to Lynnwood since the rent at the Center for Urban Horticulture have just about doubled (which is sad for me, because I live five blocks from it!). There are many members who live on the Eastside like Woodinville. Since we brag our gardens by letting them be toured, you can get lots of ideas next summer!

    I also remember loving The Secret Garden as a child, but do not remember much of the positive thinking stuff. Oh, well. My younger son (now 20 years old) loved the movie, especially the little bird. My daughter (16 years old) and I recently watched it, and it is still charming. It seemed more like "don't limit yourself by what others think" kind of message.

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  2. Neat! I will look into the Seattle Fruit Tree Society. I was helping a friend on a landscaping job last week and one of her clients had a lemon tree with huge lemons on it! That was surprising. I'm sure they've brought it inside this weekend though.

    The book the Secret Garden talks a lot more about the power of positive thought than the movie does. It is actually very sweet the way they talk about it.

    If we buy this house in Woodinville the yard will be 300 sq. feet smaller than our current lot but it is laid out in a way so that I will have more useable edible garden space. I'm not sure I will be ready to have any tours any time soon though - I still have a lot to learn!

    Thank you so much for commenting and contacting me. It's always fun to meet fellow gardeners and like-minded folks.

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