I had another bout of homesickness today. Not for the city per se, but for familiarity. Logically, I know that I can still see my friends because I don't live that far away - it's not like we moved to Louisiana or something. And my BFF came up to have lunch with us on Sunday and she doesn't live in the city - she lives *south* of the city so she was far away before we moved up north.
Still, there is such a comfort for me in familiarity. I wonder if other people are like that and if it's a personality trait I was born with or if it comes from my parents living in the same place for 40 years so I never had to move as a kid? It's also ironic because after I moved out of my parent's house when I was seventeen I didn't live in the same place longer than six months, and even then that was a long time for me. Back then familiarity was horrifying to me. Hmmm ... sometimes I think back to who I was in my late teens and twenties and I only see the tiniest sparks of myself and I wonder how I could've been so different than I am now? I wonder what I would've been like if bad things hadn't happened to me and sent me into a decade-or-so tailspin? Although, sometimes I think that tailspin was necessary for me to be happy. I think even without bad things happening to me to knock me off kilter I had some sort of wild streak I had to get out. I couldn't have just been happy settling down with a nice neighborhood boy I'd known since kindergarten and just had a sane, drama-free life even if that sounds like it would've been a much better path to me nowdays.
So, back to me drama-free white bread life in the suburbs, I ordered a couple kits for cedar raised garden beds. I actually had to do some searching to find kits for plain ole cedar without it being treated or some sort of weird plastic-filled compressed wood that would outlive the plutonium waste at Hanford. Why would I want raised garden beds that will last a thousand years after me? I really have no plans to pass on the legacy of my suburban raised garden beds for generations to come. All while having bad chemicals leach into the soil my snap peas grow in. Anyway, I could've just bought cedar planks but then I'd have to cut them and figure out how to attach them together correctly and it's been way too long since 8th grade wood shop for me to have the confidence to do it all from scratch. Plus, we don't have a decent saw yet. Although I finally bought myself a tool belt today.
I'll leave you with this beautiful song that reminds me of who I was during my tailspin years.