Thursday, February 17, 2011

We are biohazard

I got that call that I knew we were going to get one of these days from the school nurse. My daughter has lice. Gah. It seems like every month we get the requesite "lice was found in your child's classroom" note so I figured we were next. What a pain in the ass. The fun thing I guess is that now both me and my daughter have very short hair. My husband is bald so he has nothing to worry about. If I were as cute as I was in my 20's I might very well have shaved my head today too just to not have to deal with any of this.

So, I picked the girl up from school and rather pleadingly asked the school nurse to show me what to look for because the girls has been scratching her head a lot the last week and I have looked and not found anything. I felt like a really bad mom when the nurse handed me a sticky note with a nit (lice egg) and actual lice taped to it. Of course, the lice is exactly the same color as my daughter's hair so that wasn't very helpful. She looked at my hair and didn't see anything but I can't imagine with all the snuggling I do with my daughter I could have escaped the wrath.

First thing we did was go to Supercuts to see if they would cut off mot of our hair for us (figuring they sterilize everything anyway). But no, when I told the girl at the front desk our plight she disappeared in the back and came back and said the general manager said we have to leave the premises immediately and could not even be in the building. Lovely. I probably would've been embarrassed but seeing as everyone and their child seems to bring home lice when groups of kids are involved (and lice are not a sign of being dirty and they don't carry diseases) I just gathered up the girl and came home. Where I proceeded to do my best to chop all our hair off. I actually did a good job on my daughter's hair and she has this cute little asymetrical bob that comes down to her ears and is cut only about a half inch long in back. I have the same haircut but it doesn't look as adorable on me as it does on her. And it was really tough to get the back even. Thank god for curly hair so those things don't show!

Then I spent a lot of time washing bedding, towels, etc. in hot water and spraying down cushions from the couch with nasty pesticide spray. I left them in the garage for the night and now it stinks like hell in there. I really fell of the green-bandwagon with this one. I went straight for the Rid. But we're getting on an airplane on Monday to go see my parents and I really don't want to show up with head lice. Which by the way is different than body lice. Good to know. I guess. It's kind of gross learning about lice.

Speaking of gross insect stories, for the last almost 16 years now, I have assumed that my husband was not at all bothered by spiders. I was supposedly the one who is scared of spiders because I always call him in to kill or dispose of the big ones (wow - one blog post and I've already talked about my rampant use of pesticides on my child and now about wantonly killing spiders ... I wonder if I have to give back my "Pesticide Free Zone" sign now even though I only used them on my child and not my garden?) Anyhoo ... so the other day I was making dinner and I look over and my husband has stooped down by the garage door and picked up a big, black wolf spider. There was that split second where I was looking at him with a baffled look on my face as he held up the spider and it was wriggling all over the place and I started to say, "Why are y..." and he screamed (=cough= like a little girl =cough=) threw it in the air and started jumping around waving his arms and doing a weird little dance screeching, "Oh my god! Oh my god! Soooo gross! Soooo gross!" He finally calmed down enough for me to ask, "Why did you pick up that spider???" and he said, "I thought it was a big piece of fuzz! I was going to throw it away!" Somebody really needs to be wearing their glasses.

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