Sunday, April 3, 2011

I can't believe I'm writing about this

I honestly did not think I would live to the age where I would be writing about peri-menopause, but since I just turned forty-four I need to start thinking about it. I am still mostly in denial I am in my forties because I feel like I'm still twenty-nine. My new neighborhood friends apparently had no idea how old I am because when someone in their late thirties starts talking about how old they're getting and I mutter, "You're not as old as me," they always say, "Oh, I'm much older! I'm turning thirty-eight next month!" Unfortunately, my girl parts are not deceived into thinking I'm only thirty-two.

I'm still not too into the idea of taking Estrovan because I don't think I need to be taking kava kava, so I've been looking at other natural remedies. It turns out that aerobic exercise has shown in studies to reduce peri-menopause symptoms. Good to know! And there's a couple herbs out there that help too that are not as controversial or have as many side effects as kava kava. So, I'm hopeful. Especially about the exercise. It would be nice if I could just do completely natural things instead of taking weird herbs or hormones. And yes, herbs are natural but they are natural in the same way that chemicals are natural - they are from the earth. But that doesn't mean they don't have weird side effects and can't be harmful in some circumstances. I'm not sure why so many people are in denial of that?

I really started thinking about this yesterday when I was so cranky I felt like I was going to blow a mental gasket and start picking fights with random passer-bys and start throwing things at other drivers. It was a very uncomfortable feeling because I felt so overwhelmingly irritable and couldn't just breathe myself out of it. I ended up leaving the house to go run errands to have some "alone time" because I didn't want to keep going off on my daughter. I tried to improve my attitude by making a conscious effort while in the grocery store to smile at people and say excuse me when I had to pass and just generally put out lots of positive energy toward my fellow man (that I felt like pummeling). It worked some and I felt a little better when I got home.

There are a few reasons why I felt that way other than hormones. I have a cold, hadn't had enough sleep and felt physically crappy, and I'd had to miss lunch with my BFF because traffic was so bad she couldn't get here in time before I had to take my daughter to her riding lesson which had been last minute canceled and I hadn't gotten the message till we got out there. And I've been using a steroid nasal spray every day for the last week because of my cold and I'm very sensitive to steroids.

And my daughter has been acting up a lot recently because the last three months - while moving and then having moved into this house - we've been really lax on discipline because we are all exhausted with all the transition and we've been trying to go easy on her because of all the transition. But now it's time to get back on track with structure and discipline again. We're turning the tv off for most of this next week and she's going to get back to doing chores and eating dinner with the family instead of sitting on the couch watching tv. I kept meaning to get back to the structure and regular rules but I just realized it has been two months now since we moved and my daughter is now starting to only want to watch tv, play video games and talk about all the toys she wants to buy. I'm becoming one of those moms whose kids drive me nuts - the ones who have no structure or discipline and just let their kids decide everything so as not to "stifle their inner creativity". So, part of my crankiness I think was an abrupt slap-in-the-face from myself to say "Hey! Get back on track with your parenting!"

I had a long talk with my husband last night who said he's totally behind me on getting back some structure and will support me as best he can (Yay! Best husband ever!). We decided she will continue her riding lessons till the end of the school year, then she can choose three day camps to go to during summer (that's all we can afford - if even that!). Then when school starts again she needs to choose a sport and stick to it - whether it's dancing, soccer, horseback riding - but some sort of physical activity lesson every week. And she's old enough now she needs to learn an instrument and that's not negotiable. I told her she could choose piano or guitar (because my husband can't stand the idea of listening to student violin, any horns or drums) and she chose piano. What surprised me about when I told her these ground rules she got really excited and said it sounds great! Well, there ya go.

I planted three roses yesterday and on the middle one used a seawee extract that my neighbor loaned to me which is supposed to be a great fertilizer. I'm curious to see if there is a difference between the middle rose bush and the other two as time goes on. My starts are getting big enough I had to put them in actual pots. I figure in a month they'll be ready to go outside. Which means I have to get some decent dirt delivered. I'm really liking my garden area and just got an arbor with a gate that I have to assemble to keep the dog out. I'm trying to decide what to plant to grow over the arbor. I really want to grow wine grapes but I'm not sure if that would be good for an arbor that one walks through and I'm not sure that space gets enough sun. If we put a pergola over our back deck I may plant them there because it gets a lot more sun. We're debating pergola or screened in porch. Right now I think I'm leaning toward pergola. I love having all this new space for gardening! And I'm waiting on a call from the city to find out how much of the empty space between our house and storm pond we can use for a neighborhood pea patch.

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