Monday, June 27, 2011
She ran outside Wednesday night when I let the dog out and didn't come back in when we called her before going to bed. In the middle of the night the next door neighbors heard some sort of ruckus of some sort of animal getting killed by a predator. I tried to convince myself it wasn't Diamond, but after she didn't come back and we'd put up a bunch of signs saying she was missing and no one called, it hit me Saturday that I just knew she'd been eaten by an eagle or a coyote. I was feeling pretty upset about it on Saturday but trying to stick to "vacation mode" which was really hard.
I think what helped me be at peace with it all (even though I'm still sad because I miss her) is when this guy Erik was showing me how to fish with his fancy rod/reel set. The first time I cast out I actually caught a Dungeness crab! Of course it's a few days before crabbing season starts so we had to release him, but it was kind of weird and cool. But as I was standing there waiting on my second cast out I started thinking about predators and prey. And I was thinking about our kitten Diamond (who was actually almost two years old) and what a tough little feral kitten she fancied herself to be. She was very independent and only rarely interested in snuggling and always on her timetable and her terms. She liked to hunt and she liked to prowl around at night. As they say "She would rather die on her feet than live on her knees". And she probably felt it was an honor to die as prey and would have it no other way. She lived a short, adventurish life just the way she wanted to.
Then I didn't feel so bad because I wasn't feeling sorry for her or viewing her as a victim. Animals know there are predators and prey and that is the natural order of things and they would probably rather die as a predator's food than painfully, of old age, after being frustrated because they couldn't run around and be wild. Well, some animals. BuddyCat was born to be a lap cat himself.
But I still miss her. It's hard to come home and not have her here. I was bracing myself for that, but even then I cried after we got home and she wasn't here. My daughter cried too but she's feeling better now. I'm still feeling sad and even more so seeing how devastated my husband is. I think we're going to get another kitten for my daughter, and this time one that really wants to be *her* cat instead of my cat. And one that doesn't like to go out at night would be good too.
Our Guemes vacation was nice. I got to kayak and we went on a like hike with my daughter and her friend yesterday. I wore myself out with enormous amounts of exercise. It was nice to come home to our new house outside the city this time instead of going home to the city. This is my favorite photo from the trip.
Posted by Urbancowgrrl at 4:24 PM