I think the hypothyroid of the thyroiditis has made its switch to hypOthyroid because it was soooo hard to get out of bed this morning. It was so comfortable and it felt like a high powered magnet was holding me in. Even though I had a stress dream right before I woke up that I had driven to Buckley for an acting seminar and had picked up some old high school classmates from Burien on the way. After I got to the seminar Trainer V. borrowed my car and I thought I'd be fine because surely someone would give me a ride back to Seattle (apparently my subconscious hasn't caught up with where I live yet). But no one would. Even my old friend, Bill Cody, made an appearance snearing at me that I hadn't contacted him in years and now here I was asking for a ride home. Then one of the actors overdosed and died in the men's bathroom and there was all sorts of chaos. And I ended up sitting in a corner crying hysterically because I'd been abandoned in Tacoma. Finally I called my parents and they came to pick me up. At one point in the dream I picked up the phone and all the numbers were whirling around and I thought, "Crap. This is one of those stress dreams where I can't dial the number because the numbers on the phone keep changing. I'm going to have to use my mental powers to overcome this part of the dream."
I don't know if part of that was triggered by my liberal guilt over a little experience yesterday. I gave KD a ride to the grocery store in the morning with her three-year old daughter and when we got there - in our tiny little urban center in our bucolic, peaceful neighborhood, there was a big, dumb-looking, IQ lower than his shoes, guy in his early 20's at most loitering around the parking lot. I noticed he was avoiding men and only going up to women - especially ones with children. When we got out of the car he came up to us and in his hipster-swaying moves (which amazing did not cause his pants to fall all the way down) he asked, "Hey-a, can I ask you a question?" and I said, "Not right now, sorry," and he looked disappointed and swaggered away towards a woman with her baby in a front pack. Kristine made a sighing sound and I said, "I know that sounds rude, but my friends used to panhandle too and I can tell you nothing good comes of 'Can I ask you a question'." Kristine said, "I'm just glad you're here right now." Which made me realize that a lot of people may not actually be used to panhandlers and it is probably kind of disorienting for them. Then I felt like following that kid around and saying over his shoulder, "Don't listen to him - if it's not going toward booze or drugs now the next wave of panhandling will. You're not helping him - you're actually hurting him by giving him money to continue not growing up and taking care of himself." But of course, I didn't because I didn't have time to and it potentially could've gotten me in trouble I wouldn't want to be in.
Yesterday I road Toadie in another short lesson and we didn't do as well as the lesson we videotaped a couple days ago. That is probably because I was feeling nervous and not on my game at all and Toad was testing me. One time she just wouldn't listen to my leg at all and went weaving all the way across the arena no matter what I did. Trainer K. said just to keep going and make sure she kept moving as opposed to getting flustered about steering. I didn't understand the logic in that but did what she said. Then she got frustrated with me and stopped and used all her 1,000 pounds to push her legs into the ground and refuse to move. Apparently, I had to adjust my seat and relax my legs and then give her a firm tap with my heels and the command to walk. When I did that she started walking and was more willing.
It made sense to me why Trainer K. said the other day that for awhile I can't ride by myself with her. Not because she's dangerous but because she's too smart and will learn what she can get away with if I get in a situation like that and don't know what to do. The only options I could think of were to just keep kicking her asking her to go and then when she started to get upset I would just get off and give up. Then she'd learn that if she didn't want to work she'd just stand there and I'd get off and she could go back to her stall and eat. Or I could stay on and keep kicking her and yelling at her until she threw me off. So, I'm glad Trainer K. was there to tell me how to adjust my seat and just doing that worked.
I was going to ride her again today but she had new shoes put on and had what Trainer K. called a "hot nail" which means that it was a little too high in her hoof and was pressing into soft tissue. She explained that on most horses it was a fine place to be, but for some super-sensitive horses like Toad it was too high. She's kind of a special-needs girl because she's so sensitive (such a Thoroughbred). That might be why she tried to rear a couple times while my farrier was shoeing her. Although, honestly she just didn't want her front feet worked on at all today. At one point while I was holding her suddenly her front leg (that the farrier wasn't holding) started to buckle under her and she looked like she was just going to fold in on her legs and land on the ground. I said, "Oh No!" and not knowing what else to do I gave a little correction yank on her lead rope and snapped, "Ah-ah-ah! Stand!" and she stood up again. The farrier thanked me and I said, "What was that? She looked like she was going down and going to hit the ground," and he said, "No, she was preparing to go up, she was going into a stance to prepare herself to rear." She did it about three more times but this time I knew what to look for. The farrier thanked me again and said I was doing exactly what I should be to keep her from rearing which was good to know. I don't recall if he was nailing in shoes or not. That might be why she was doing that because it hurt cause last time she didn't do that. I'll have to remember each time to remind him that she's special needs girl and needs the nails really low. Trainer K. says her Warmblood is the same way and gets all ouchy and freaked out if the nails are as high on a normal horse.
So, I have to go back at some point this evening to meet him to get those nails put in lower. And I might go out tomorrow morning to ride Girlfriend again. She wasn't quite so hyper and crazy today. I did not canter her out of fear she'd gallop off and that would be bad for her feet with new shoes. I might be a bit burned out on the barn by the end of this week - which I didn't realize was possible.
Because I was out there for so long today I took the pitbull with me so she wouldn't be locked in the house all day. One of the other trainers had a little mixed-breed puppy named Whiskey and we put the two of them in the arena and closed the doors and they literally raced in big circles until Willow literally fell over on her side and lay there panting. When I went over to put her leash on she tried to run again but she was so exhausted she just fell over again. I put her in one of the empty stalls to rest because she can't be running around the farm like that.
While I was riding Girlfriend the other training was training her horse to drive - as in driving to pull a cart. I've never seen anyone do that in person before (the training part) so it was very interesting to watch. I had absolutely not idea what she was doing or how in the world she was getting the horse to understand what she wanted him to do.