Saturday, October 29, 2011

Too busy for my own good

For years now I have said "I'm really busy right now but it will calm down in a couple weeks" and it never seems to.  I used to thrive on being busy before I became a mom.  Then when I had my daughter and got to stay home with her for three years I had to learn how to calm down and "just be".  I am still not that good at it, although I have never gotten back to that state of mind where I "thrive" on being busy.  But I have also not yet achieved how to keep myself from being busy.

What am I so busy with? Oh good lord ... I ask myself that question frequently.  Well, I have a job I work at one full day a week (which ends up taking up literally that whole day from when I get up until bed time because of adding in the commute to downtown Seattle which is a huge time-suck).  I have two horses and one is in training, I also have three cats (one is elderly and needs lots of vet care). And a dog that needs walks and to be dragged around with me when I'm gone all day. I just took on a second part-time job I can work from home but only in the mornings because it involves lots of calls to the East Coast.  I take care of everything re: the house (ie: cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, coordinating repairs, paying bills, managing finances, etc) and I want it that way because my husband earns 95% of the money and I want to pull my own weight, and I take care of our 7 year old daughter (except in the evenings on the weekdays when my husband is home so he can hang out with her and here and there when I go out to do stuff on the weekend).  Add to that a friend who is in an abusive relationship right now so I've been trying to be there for her and supporting our mutual friends who are stressed out as I am about it.  And coordinating a neighborhood book group and volunteering in my daughter's class.  I think that's about it. 

Anyway, I don't really have anything I want to drop, but I do feel overwhelmed sometimes.

There are plenty of little things that make it totally worth it though and are so cool.  Like volunteering in school yesterday during art class.  The kids were supposed to draw and paint a castle and it was very fun watching all the 2nd grader's ideas of castles.  Also, working with Toad and watching Girlfriend and her Little Mama together.  Girlfriend is so hot and was so hard to ride for all the dressage riders at my old barn, it's so neat to see this skinny little 13-year old do so well with her.  And it's so neat to see how sweet Girlfriend is with her - just like she is with me and my daughter (although my daughter is too little and not a good enough rider to ride Girlfriend by herself).

I usually think of my daughter as having no real riding skills just because she's so young and little (she just barely weighs 50 pounds so she is tiny)  but yesterday a girl came to look at Toad to lease her and while she was riding Trainer K. and I were talking about Toad because she (Trainer K.) had just told the potential lesseee that Toad is a lot different than when we started with her a few months ago.  I told Trainer K. how Toad's last owner had said the only time she'd been thrown off Toad was getting on her in and English saddle and wiggling around to get comfortable.  But some days when I ride Toad I have to wiggle around a little myself to get comfortable - especially if we're using a different saddle for some reason or I'm wearing my mom's breeches she loaned me while she's in AZ but that don't fit quite right.  I said that Toad must've calmed down a lot because it didn't seem to bother her at all.  Trainer K. asked if I'd seen her previous owner ride her and I said no, and she said, "Well, she has less knowledge of riding than your daughter."   That was an eye opener that my tiny little daughter does know how to ride somewhat.  I think of her as so tiny (which she is) and so fragile (which she isn't) but she does have great posture and a great seat (ie: balance on a horse) and she knows how to walk, trot and has (accidentally) cantered before.  I guess I need to give her some credit that even though she is my baby and only 7 years old, she IS starting to actually know how to ride like a beginner rider - she's no longer a completely helpless kid around horses.

Speaking of my tiny daughter, she is under the impression that Toadie is going to be her horse when she's 10 years old.  It would certainly be feasible because Toad should be really well trained in three years.  I just need to find a new place for my daughter to take lessons right now.  Since Trainer V.  has melted down so badly and Trainer K. doesn't have any ponies, our barn is not really the place for her to learn.  Trainer J. is there but she doesn't train dressage and despite all the cool bling in Western riding, my daughter has decided she is all about dressage.  Plus, I love Toad so much I really want her to be *my* horse and if we can afford it when my daughter is ten we can talk about getting her her own horse.  But Toadie and I have such great chemistry together and really understand each other and communicate so well together.  It is a rare horse that I feel like we can just get into each other's head and Girlfriend and Toad are both those horses.  So, my daughter is just going to have to find her own horse when she is old enough.

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