I did not get the part-time job I really wanted, there is nothing on craigslist or anywhere I'm looking that has the hours I'm looking for or pays more than half of what I was making when I worked downtown for the non-profit. And yesterday I found out that my beloved Subaru that we bought two weeks before my daughter was born is in need of a new transmission (we're talking thousands of dollars). I don't want to spend half the worth on this car to get it fixed but then I also don't want to add a car payment to our already barely making ends meet without a real job for me. I am making a little bit of cash babysitting my friend's daughter after school but that is less hours now than we had originally planned and the poor thing is sick this week so I'm not babysitting her for a few days. I was trying not to be in a funk yesterday but today it seems to be winning. I feel like just sitting down and crying.
I'm definitely not upset about quitting my worry-fest-stress-fest part time recently. But I am wondering if it was the best move to quit the job I really liked last February. Except when I remember that I didn't like commuting to downtown Seattle at all and our office is right next to the viaduct which they are tearing down right now so traffic and parking is pure Hell. Plus Pioneer Square is getting worse and worse with the aggressive/criminal element of transients. My uber-liberal friends jump to "It's the economy! It's the Republicans fault! Too many homeless now!" But these are not "homeless" folks. Well, yes, they are homeless but they are the ones who don't want to quit whatever screwed up thing they're doing to get help at a shelter or through assistance but want to harass folks for money so they can buy drugs or alcohol. And sadly, after having some sit-down conversations with a few of them over the course of working there for years, I also learned a lot of them have warrants for lots of fun crimes like rape, domestic violence, assault with a deadly weapon and they're hiding out. Fun times. These are not the guys who see selling Real Change or the people who don't see trying to get by in shelters and hanging at the millionaire club or Home Depot trying to pick up some day labor. These are the guys who follow you around downtown yelling at you to give them spare change and are sleeping next to your car and spitting at you when you try to get over them to get in your car. No, I don't miss Pioneer Square at all. Ironically, I blame the uber-liberals who just don't get it for that problem. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or invalidate any special snowflakes civil rights to harass people - because here in Seattle you must be doing something wrong if you have a good job and pay your taxes and take showers - and if you're actually a good person with a nice home, a good job, and food on your table then you at least need to feel horribly guilty while you're helping society and not hold anyone accountable because you yourself are evil for not suffering. =sigh=
The elections are coming up. I'll be glad when the presidential election is over because my poor husband always gets terribly stressed out and is convinced that if the Republican candidate wins then life as we know it is all going to hell in a little red handbasket with no seatbelts. Granted, I think our current Republican candidate is a dumbass and his vice president candidate is all for a Faux-Christian Taliban, I don't think they'll have the power to destroy our country as long as we have some sane people in Congress (which thankfully we still do). Despite the Republican majority we even have sane Republicans in Congress (next to some crazy ones on both parties). So, I'm not terribly worried about it. Maybe I should be, but I'm not. I figure our country is so incredibly corrupt that it really doesn't matter who our president is. He still won't be able to stop the enormous problem of outsourcing that has destroyed our economy and he still won't be able to get Congress to admit that we really shouldn't be voting for whether or not gay people can get married because it is a basic civil right that two consenting adults should be allowed to marry no matter who they are and we should not be voting on that! The only argument against gay marriage is "it's wrong according to the Bible" (Hello! Separation of church and state AND Jesus never said he was against it) and "it grosses me out" (Well, Glen Beck having sex grosses me out but I'm not trying to make it illegal for him to get married).
I also feel like I'm coming down with something. Sore throat, no energy, headache. Blah. I need to run some stuff out to the stable then I'm going to go to bed and have a good cry and watch some tv or something equally unproductive.