I leave for my on-site week of classes for equine massage in exactly three weeks and I am not at all ready! I just started reading the book for my 5-page book report plus graphs and charts that is due the first day of class and I'm not feeling confident I will finish it all in time. Or that I will be prepared. I feel like I really don't know enough of the material well enough and will look really stupid and even worse - possibly not pass the practical portion of the exam! Ugh.
I think this is just my old perfectionist issues rearing their ugly head. Just like how I felt all through high school, only instead of just facing my fears and buckling down and doing my best I just gave up before I tried. I still have nightmares that I have to go back to high school because I never graduated (I did graduate by the way in real life but that apparently doesn't stop my subconscious from giving me nightmares that I didn't and that I have to go back).
At least the stuff I'm learning is very interesting to me. We had a list of books we could choose for our book report and I chose Horse Structure and Movement because I'm hoping it will help me to understand the kineseology part of the puzzle which I'm struggling with. One thing for me is that I don't work well with mechanical concepts in print or in 2 dimensions. I need to see it in three dimensions (ie: in person) and it helps if I can actually manipulate the object with my hands myself. Which is why I've been searching the internet for an anatomy model of the major muscles in a horse - something that you can take apart and move. When the major muscles and their movements really clicked for me in human massage was during the cadaver anatomy portion of school. I need a model that it like that of a horse. If I can't find one I swear I'm going to design one, patent it and make millions off of students of vet medicine who are like me and need to see it in 3D to really have it click.
In happier news, my daughter's white kitten (well, she's 2+ years old now but we still call her and her sister, Nermal kittens) is sitting on my lap and she's so happy she keeps drooling all over my laptop (both she and the laptop are pictured at the top of this blog). I keep having to take the edge of my shirt and whip off the keyboard so that I can actually type on it. Kittens are very comforting.
Our search for the perfect haunted farmhouse has been put on hold because everything that fits our criteria (can't see the neighbors, enough acreage for horses, living amongst wild animals but not in a mobile home) and is not too painfully long of a commute to downtown Seattle where my husband works - it's all out of our price range. As in everything within a non-heinous commute distance that meets our criteria is a million dollars or more. I'm not exaggerating. Look up the outskirts of Seattle real estate for 2+ acres and not a mobile home within an hour commute (by transit) to Seattle and you'll see what I mean. Well, not an hour commute by car either but you have to factor in the lovely, totally out of control traffic into drive times - so a half hour distance equals an hour commute.
Anyway, I'm a little disappointed but at the same time I still love our little rural suburb house and it's awfully nice to have Girlfriend only three blocks away. And I still have lots of room to garden (which didn't go as well this year as I'd hoped - but that's another blog post)