Thursday, March 27, 2014

Comparing apples to chainsaws

This last week seemed to be the week of comparing myself to others in my head even though I intellectually knew the comparisons were like apples to chainsaws.  Not apples to oranges, apples to chainsaws.    For instance, I was feeling very down last weekend because I'm not as pretty and thin as my two co-workers who are 18 and 13 years younger than me.  Even though I know that's silly to compare myself to someone who could be my daughter my emotions were doing it anyway.  Finally got myself out of that mindset.  Then I was being haunted by the fact that all the women my age on television are super skinny compared to me.  Intellectually, I realize that is ridiculous to focus on but emotionally I was having a hard time getting rid of that gnawing angst.  It's like the ghost of shallow, dysfunctional beliefs floating through my emotions.  They've passed for now, but I imagine they will waft through again and I will have to do the same thing and just let them pass by like really heavy fog.   Reminds me of this song by Radio Nationals  (I love that band btw - even though I think they finally broke up for good awhile ago).

It did cheer me up on Tuesday that Geir and I had a great practice training ride together.  He still is struggling to be able trot corners with a proper bend but that is something that will take time to work up his muscles and get in shape.  We were really struggling  with the side pass but he finally did two beautiful steps and it felt for a few seconds like we just glided sideways.  He got a big hug for that! Literally.  He's the only horse I've ever owned where I can lean forward in the saddle and give him a big hug around the neck without him freaking out and trying to buck or scoot out from under me.  I could do that with Maiden but most likely she'd pin her ears and buck.  Geir just stand there and sighs.

Last weekend when it was sunny out I took my daughter for a trail ride out around the farm next to the pony school.  We couldn't go as far as we wanted because Geir started to get nervous being out there without another horse and I was not willing to put my daughter in that challenging of a situation.  I know that Geir is so safe he wouldn't do anything but my mom-instincts just wanted it to be a good day and didn't want him to even scoot with her on him.  It was a truly over-protective moment but oh well.  Nobody seemed to mind.  But she also got a chance to ride him in the arena to get him warmed up and I was so happy with how he did with her.  He is learning to walk a little faster when I ride him (part of getting in shape) but with he he walked soooooo slow.  And he was so relaxed and sweet and gentle with her!  She hasn't been riding him in her lessons because she's enamored with one of our newer ponies, Frosty.   She was the first at the school to ride Frosty when he came to us a few months ago and really wanted to ride him in her lessons.  So, I'm glad she got to reconnect with Geir.  He really is an amazing little horse.  So solid and so sweet.  I really didn't know him when I bought him, I was just going on the school owner's word and the more I get to know him the more I am amazed at what an amazing and wonderfully rare kids' horse he is.  The school does have an unusually high number of incredibly bombproof horses gathered in one place, but Geir is in a class all by himself as far as the perfect first horse for a kid goes. 

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